"Penny wise and pound foolish..."

My late father would often quote the famous saying “penny wise and pound foolish” coined by Mathematician, Oxford University Scholar, and vicar of St. Thomas’s Church, Robert Burton in his therapeutical memoir which became a medical textbook, The Anatomy of Melancholy first published in 1621.

A person who is “penny wise and pound foolish” is said to be be careful with small amounts of money but wasteful with large sums. I am confident my dad was unaware of the saying’s origin, however that didn’t inhibit its regular use. And like many analogies and idioms and sayings we adapt meaning over time, in this case 400 years, to suit our own interpretation.

He would most often refer to the saying when discussing suits. Ill-fitting clothing was his biggest gripe. Suits that “fell off the shoulders” or “were swimming on him” should be avoided at all costs.

Dad followed with advice regarding preparedness to pay that little bit extra to ensure the wearer would not return to their chosen purveyor year after year buying cheep and poorly made suits when a quality purchase to begin with would have sorted the gent for years and cost less in the long run.

Brand was not important, but fit was crucial. And as a convert to his mantra, albeit with an added observance of brand loyalty, quality suits remain essential garb.

“Penny wise and pound foolish” and my family’s expanded interpretation of Burton’s writings came back to me this week when our plumber arrived to fix, let’s agree improve, my handiwork.

“I knew it was you when I saw all the thread tape,” he offered with a 60/40 disposition; 60 percent instructionally frustrated and 40 per cent jovial…When undertaking jobs and tasks around the house to prove my worth as husband and family man, perfection is my Achilles heel. 

It has to be perfect; accurate, centred, flush, level, square, and working as if a professional had completed the job. Unfortunately when it comes to plumbing and other household chores and improvements, I am not a professional. Handy enough by my own assessment and certainly better with year’s of experience, but not yet proficient. Further, if you like tasks completed in a timely fashion, I am the wrong person to call. If a blurb advertised my skills it would read, 'When on plan the handiwork is of outstanding quality, but if shellshocked by minor error send him to walk your dog.”

Last weekend provided opportunity to utilise my…skills… The first shower rose installed without problem with water leaks avoided through an abundance of thread tape. Mixer tap with a square base installed on a sink with a narrow lip. 

The result, when square, the base sitting slightly off the ledge. Master 10 arrived home and told me to set the tap off centre, creating a diamond finish. “Genius,” I offered, which he continued to repeat. 

Practical like Mrs. W. and far more accepting of off-square than me, I consequently struggled to cope with the mixer not moving equally from the centre point to hot and cold settings…Then the stop taps started leaking following shock from turning-off and tightening. To fix, new washers would be required, but do you think I could shift the nuts. The dog was happy. The plumber arrived during the week to assist. He told me, as he has before, that many of his daily jobs are fixing home improvement attempts. I laughed with him, sort of, confused by my own thought process, “Surely he’s not speaking about me?” In not so many words, he also told me to muster all the thread tape I could rustle and immediately deposit it in the nearest refuse bin. Fifteen minutes later new stops taps were installed and we no longer had to fill the kettle in the laundry, and the second shower rose was flowing freely following rectification of a flattened thread. I suddenly felt a weight off my shoulders, and the feelings of melancholy began to dissipate. Perhaps, using my family’s more generalised interpretation, I was “penny wise and pound foolish,” because calling the plumber in the first place would have been a better option.